~ Encore Bride ~
LETTERS
Dear Susan,
My boyfriend's son is getting married. He has
been estranged from his wife for over 10 years
-- long complicated situation. Now, his wife
has agreed to behave during the wedding.
What we would like to know is, where do we
sit during the wedding, and what about
pictures? He does not want to have his
picture taken with her, their son and his son's
new wife. He feels he should be in the picture
with his son and me, and she should be in one
with the son also. What do you say is the
right thing to do? Would you be able to
answer these questions? Thank you,
-Evelyn
Dear Evelyn,
These situations can be awkward for everyone. The
key is for all of the parent's to remember the day is
about the bride and groom, not them, and to put
any differences aside for a few hours. While that is
sometimes easier said than done, it will make for
better memories later.
As far as seating is concerned, all parent's and
his/her significant other, such as yourself should be
in the front row.
If that is not possible, sit the mother in the front
(sorry, tradition says mother gets top billing), with
you and the father directly behind. Ideally, all
should be front and center.
Pictures should be done however the bride and
groom want them. It would appear there may be a
lot of conflict between mother and father, so
together in the same picture would not be the
preference, that's fine. A picture with the mother,
and son (and the new wife) and a separate one with
his father is appropriate. Your inclusion would be
dependent on your relationship to both the father
and the groom. How long have you been dating, do
you live together, are you engaged, etc would all
be considerations. Do you get along with his son,
etc. If you are in a non live-in relationship, or a
relationship with an uncertain or undetermined
future, you would be best served to either bow out,
or have a picture with you included, and one
without.
Please remember this is a day for the bridal couple.
You may have to swallow a few distasteful
moments, but taking the high road is always best
for future relations between all parties.
Thank you so much for visiting Encore Bride.
-Susan
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