Groom's Column


                  World Traveler
                      by Larry Tyler

I finally made it to Europe...a bit later in life than I
had hoped, but I got there. Probably that was a
good thing for everyone involved. I had outgrown
any notion of taking the continent by storm, and
was just simply curious about how people in other
cultures did things.  

I had waited a long time to see Europe, and now, a
great excuse for the extravagant trip was upon me:
my honeymoon. That is not to suggest the reason
for the marriage was solely to have an excuse to see
Europe.  Of course it wasn't. Not solely. It was a
nice bonus after months of wedding prep though,
and I had along with me my perfect travel
companion, my new bride.

When I say "perfect" I don't mean to suggest that
my wife and I always have the same opinions about
what to see and do on a trip, or the same level of
energy at all times of the day (I leap out of bed at
dawn; she rises about the time the sun starts to
descend.) Perfect, in this sense, mostly means I had
someone to share the trip with who was perfectly
patient with me.

We mapped out a plan that seemed like a
reasonable compromise between a stagnant and a
frenzied itinerary, and I immediately began
collecting language aids. I was determined not to be
so arrogant that I expected everyone to speak
English around me or so helpless that I couldn't
convey my very basic needs in times of distress. I
gathered up my crib sheets and taught myself how
to find a bathroom, figure out whether my train was
heading toward or away from my planned
destination, and keep myself from inadvertently
ordering earthworms off a menu. I mastered these
skills in French, Dutch, German, Spanish, Croatian,
Italian, Danish, Hungarian, Norwegian, and
Portuguese. We weren't planning to visit all those
countries, but I figured one mistake at a train
station could easily make a person wish they knew a
little basic Croatian.

Turns out English was really all I needed. In fact, I
never could figure out whether it was more insulting
for me to stick to my native tongue and make
everyone speak English to me or mangle their
native tongue and cause them to wonder what those
strange sounds were, coming out of my mouth.

As for the customs from these nearly-parallel
cultures that I was so eager to observe, well I'm just
simply glad I made the trip and was able to remind
myself that having an adventure means not always
being totally in control. Things weren't always done
the way I was familiar with, or might have chosen,
or understood. Every culture, after all, has its share
of quirks that defy reason. There were a number of
times when I asked myself, "What is the proper
thing to do now?" or "How should I respond to
this?" or even "Why are they staring at me like
that?" But, as I said, it was supposed to be an
adventure, and therefore, it wasn't supposed to
always be comfortable and familiar.  As a matter of
fact, that's what made the trip such a thrill. That,
and of course, my travel companion. I was able to
kick back and remind myself that I was on an
adventure and therefore everything wasn't supposed
to be according to my rules.

Maybe that's why we take our honeymoons in
unfamiliar surroundings.  Not a bad preparation for
the marriage ahead.


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